Falling In & Out

I don't know why, but things seem to get harder with dating as you grow older. As your heart grows more fondly over one person, you start to realize how insignificant all the other hookups and suitors were before the one. I can't say he was the "one that got away." He was more like the one that had to go away.

Starting on Monday evening, I had a sudden rush of emotions toward my Aussie ex-boyfriend; I guess it's more difficult ending on good terms than it is like a normal disaster parting. It could have been a disaster if you look at it in the right sense. Heart shatters and it sounds like a thin glass falling to the ground and it takes forever to clean up because of how far it spread. No suction of romantic vacuum currant could seem to shock it back to life and working properly.

When people express a kiss as taking their breath away or a spark that ignites their heart, it's not a phony rush. I was kissed, I was touched, I was alone with him every single time he kissed me. The spark set my heart of fire and I couldn't breathe. He looked at me and I was melting, so he would catch me with a tight embrace and life-changing kiss. Adele says, "yesterday was the time of our lives," and this past summer was the time of my life.

I feel like after love squanders, the wrong types, somehow journey into your life. What these types don't realize is that I can recognize what I want and what I feel. Yesterday I saw something so simple that reminded me of my ex in TJ Maxx when I was with my friend Candy shopping... I burst into tears straight away. It was natural.

In the past few days I have also spoke with a few of my friends such as Candy, Erica, and a few others about our exes and it seems that we all have similar issues. My Aussie was someone that had the utmost respect for me, and I for him. The times we shared are irreplaceable. Sometimes, we as people, lose sight of reality and dwell on our past and when things were, or seemed to be, perfect. My life wasn't purely absolute with him, but everything seemed better. I am a motivated being, but he made me ten times more.

Now my head rushes with a million questions and uncertainties. How do I find it again? Will I ever find it again? Can someone help me fall out of love so that I can fall back in it? I find it hard to believe that you can feel that strong for more than one person in your entire life. In television and Hollywood in general, we see characters leaving their mates that they settled down with for their ONE TRUE LOVE. are these real stories? I don't want to hurt anyone or build a life to throw a wrecking ball at, but fate and passion would strain my soul until I ruined what I currently had.

That's All!